Step 1

Make the crust: In the bowl of a food processor with a blade attachment, pulse the cookies until you get cookie crumbs. Put the crumbs in a medium bowl, add the melted butter and toss with a fork to combine. Press the cookies into a 9-inch pie pan and refrigerate for 30 minutes, or until you’re ready to use it, whichever comes second.

Step 2

Make the ganache: Put the chocolate chips in a medium bowl and set aside. Pour the cream into a small saucepan and, over medium-high heat, bring the cream to a boil. Turn off the heat and pour the cream over the chocolate. Cover the bowl with a kitchen towel and let it sit for 3 minutes. Remove the towel and whisk the ganache until it’s shiny. Pour half of the ganache into the pie crust and spread evenly all the way up the sides. Pour the rest of the ganache into a piping bag and set aside at room temperature.

Step 3

Make the chocolate whipped cream: In a medium bowl using a rubber spatula, blend the cream cheese, powdered sugar and cocoa powder together until the mixture is light and fluffy. Add the heavy cream and whisk until medium-stiff peaks form. (Make sure it doesn’t get too stiff.) Place the whipped cream in the fridge until you’re ready to use it. In another medium bowl, whisk together the instant pudding and the milk until it thickens. Using a rubber spatula, fold half of the chocolate whipped cream into the bowl of pudding. Return both bowls of creamy pudding and remaining whipped cream to the fridge.

Step 4

Make the filling: In a microwave-safe bowl with the microwave on high, heat the chocolate chips in 10-second increments, stirring each time, until they’re all melted. Add the cream cheese and sugar and mix together.

Step 5

Finish the pie: Take the pie crust from the refrigerator. Using an offset metal spatula, spread the pie filling evenly into the pie crust. Return the pie crust and filling to the fridge for 15 minutes to set. Take the filled pie crust and the pudding-and-whipped-cream mixture from the fridge. Spread the mixture evenly over the pie filling. Refrigerate for another 8 to 10 minutes.

Step 6

Remove the pie from the fridge and spread the remaining chocolate whipped cream over the pie. Spray canned whipped topping all over the pie in a fun design. Pipe the remaining ganache all over the pie (optional). Top with the chopped Oreos, shaved chocolate (shaved from a bar with a vegetable peeler) and chocolate sprinkles. Wake up in 30 years from the deliciousness of your chocolate coma.