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Preheat a grill to medium-high. Arrange the corn on the grate and grill, turning occasionally, until the kernels are golden brown and softened, 8 to 10 minutes. Remove corn from the grill. Once cool enough to handle, remove the corn kernels from the cobs; discard the cobs. You should have about 5 cups of kernels.
Lower the grill temperature to medium. It is very important to get the heat lowered, so the butter won’t burn. Heat a large cast-iron skillet over the grate. Add the butter to melt, then whisk in the flour until combined and foaming, about 1 minute.
Gradually whisk in the milk and cream cheese and cook, whisking constantly, until smooth and thick, 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in sugar. Stir in the corn kernels; season with salt, black pepper, and the cayenne, if using, and cook until heated through, about 1 minute.