Step 1

Measure everything and dump it into a blender; see "Measuring" note about the bay leaves. Put the lid on the blender (very important), and run it on medium for a few seconds, turn it off, and run it again. Continue pulsing about until you have a powder. Dump the whole thing in a jar and label it.

Step 2

How to use this stuff. If the food has not been been brined, then sprinkle with salt, ½ teaspoon per pound. If it has been brined, then skip the salt. Lightly coat your chicken or potatoes or asparagus or whatever with water (the ingredients dissolve better in water than oil), sprinkle on the rub liberally, even if you are a conservative. If time permits, let the seasoned meat sit in the fridge for an hour or three.

Step 3

Grill, smoke, or roast.