Step 1

Pour the port into a small saucepan.

Step 2

Crank up the heat and boil until reduced to a thick syrup with a volume of about 1/4 cup.** Towards the end, watch it carefully. As the sugar content gets more concentrated, the chances of it burning increase.

Step 3

Once the bubbles go from "watery boiling" bubbles to a thicker, syrupy kind of boil, periodically pour it into a heat-proof liquid measure to check for volume.

Step 4

Set aside to cool.

Step 5

Cut the cheddar and 3 oz of the cream cheese into about 1" chunks and place in the bowl of your food processor. Begin by pulsing to get the cheese chopped up in little bits before just letting it run.

Step 6

Mix a slightly generous 1/2 teaspoon of the port wine reduction and the salt into the half and half.

Step 7

Slowly pour the dairy mixture in through the feed tube.

Step 8

Process until the cheese mixture is very, very smooth, about 2 minutes or so. Taste and add just a tiny bit more salt if you think it needs it.

Step 9

Clean off the blade of the food processor and eyeball the cheese mixture to divide it into thirds. Place 2/3 of the mixture in one bowl and leave the remaining third in the food processor.

Step 10

To that third, add 1 slightly generous teaspoon of port wine reduction and the remaining 1 Tablespoon of cream cheese. Process until smooth, scraping the sides of the container and processing some more until the mixture is a uniform purple-y color. You can add a touch more of the port wine concentrate if you'd like it more purple, but I was happy with mine, so I quit there.

Step 11

In a bowl large enough to hold all the cheese mixture (it makes about 2 cups or so of spread), layer the orange cheese and the purple cheese together in about 1/2" layers: orange-purple-orange-purple-orange.

Step 12

Press plastic wrap onto the surface of the cheese and refrigerate until firm, at least 4 hours.

Step 13

In the meantime, make fix the pecans.

Step 14

Melt the butter in a heavy skillet over medium heat. Add the pecans, the salt and the hot smoked paprika and stir well with a spatula to coat all the nuts in the butter mixture.

Step 15

Cook, stirring frequently, until the nuts are nicely browned, the butter is sort of foamy and the whole thing smells great, about 5 minutes or so.

Step 16

Let the nuts cool spread out on several thicknesses of paper towels.

Step 17

Once the nuts are cool, chop them fairly finely and set aside.

Step 18

Spread a piece of plastic wrap out on a work surface.

Step 19

Run a spatula around the inside of your "cheese mold" and then cut it roughly into quarters. Put the four quarters out on the plastic wrap with the orange and purple stripes running horizontally on two of the quarters and vertically on the other two. This is an optional step, but I do think it makes it look pretty cool and authentic when you cut into it. Your choice.

Step 20

No matter how you scoop the cheese onto the plastic wrap, pull the wrap up over the cheese and then smoosh the cheese into a ball shape (or you could make 2 logs or do whatever you want)

Step 21

Spread the spiced pecans out in a thick layer on a plate and roll the cheese ball in the nuts until it is evenly coated. You may have to press some on with your hands. Just try to get it evenly coated. Wrap in a clean sheet of plastic wrap until serving time.

Step 22

About 45 minutes before serving, roll the ball in the optional chopped herbs and allow to sit at room temperature for best flavor and texture.

Step 23

Serve with crackers, pita chips, vegetables or whatever your heart desires.

Step 24

Rejoice in the deliciousness of your retro masterpiece.