Step 1

Combine the flour, granulated sugar and salt in a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment

Step 2

Add the cubed butter, distributing it all over the top of the dry ingredients, then dollop in the cream cheese (1-inch dollops should do it, but it doesn't need to be perfect)

Step 3

Turn the mixer on low speed and mix until the mixture is mostly mealy and there are still some larger clumps of butter and cream cheese intact

Step 4

With the mixer still running, add the egg yolks, vanilla and almond extract (if using), then continue mixing until the dough comes together

Step 5

Divide the dough in half and shape into 2 discs

Step 6

Wrap each tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour or up to 2 days

Step 7

Melt the chocolate in a double boiler, stirring constantly, or in a microwaveable bowl in 30-second increments, stirring after each

Step 8

Set aside to cool briefly while you roll out the dough

Step 9

Beat the remaining whole egg with a splash of water for an egg wash

Step 10

Roll out a dough disc on a lightly floured surface, dusting with flour as needed to prevent it from sticking, until it is a wide rectangle, 18 by 9 inches

Step 11

Use an offset spatula to spread half of the chocolate over the dough in a thin even layer, leaving a 1-inch border along the long edge that's farthest from you

Step 12

(Try to work kind of quickly so the chocolate doesn't harden

Step 13

) Brush the border with a thin layer of egg wash

Step 14

Starting on the long end closest to you, roll the dough into a long, tight log, then place it seam-side down on a cutting board or baking sheet

Step 15

Repeat with the remaining dough and chocolate

Step 16

Refrigerate for at least 1 hour or up to 2 days (depending on fridge space, you might want to cut the log in half so you're dealing with four shorter logs instead of two really long ones; wrap in plastic if refrigerating for longer than 1 hour)

Step 17

Preheat the oven to 375°F and line two baking sheets with parchment paper

Step 18

Brush the logs with a thin layer of egg wash, then sprinkle with a few pinches of flaky salt and a ton of sprinkles or sanding sugar

Step 19

Cut into 1 ½-inch slices and transfer to the baking sheets, spacing them 1 inch apart

Step 20

Bake until golden brown on top, about 24 minutes

Step 21

(You might notice that the cookies seem to sweat and leak out some fat while in the oven; this is completely normal

Step 22

)  Let cool on the baking sheets for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely, or enjoy them warm! Fully cooled cookies can be stored in an airtight container at room temperature for several days