Step 1

Cut your onions in half, then thinly slice them. Yes, it is two whole onions for one pack of ramen, but it's French onion ramen, and onions cook down, and they're also good for you, so please just slice the onions.

Step 2

Melt the butter in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the ramen seasoning packet, onions and salt to create a real dang nice smell wafting through your home. Cook the onions, just stirring occasionally, until they are cooked down, caramelized and maybe even slightly burned, about 30 minutes. Add a tablespoon of water from time to time, as needed, to help them cook more evenly.

Step 3

Once those onions are cooked way down and filled with jammy goodness, pour in that shot of hooch to deglaze the bottom of the pan and use a silicone spatula or wooden spoon to scrape up all that browned stuff that would have been annoying as heck to clean up and instead turn it into the best flavor around.

Step 4

Now you can add 1 quart of water and give it all another stir along the bottom of the pan to make sure there isn't any more brown gold hiding in the corners. Bring it to a steady simmer and cook for about 10 minutes, then taste it for salt and add more if you need to.

Step 5

Add that gorgeous noodle brick, give the ramen a stir, then cover and let simmer until it's soft, about 2 more minutes. Transfer your not-so-instant noodles to a bowl and top with the grated cheese. If you are a badass you can use a kitchen torch to flame that cheese. You could also place it under the broiler (as long as your bowl can withstand the flame), or honestly, just microwave it until the cheese is melted.

Step 6

Crack some pepper over the top and then eat it, and don't think about whoever you weren't thinking about anyway.