Step 1

Pre-heat the oven to 120˚C. (You will eventually turn the temperature down to 90˚C when you put the meringues in.)

Step 2

Prepare two baking trays by lining them with baking paper. Use a number 2a nozzle tip (for a piping bag) to trace 12 small circles onto each tray with a lead pencil. Once you have drawn all the circles, turn the paper over (so you don't get lead in your meringues) and stick it down to the tray using a few dabs of writing icing.

Step 3

To make the meringues, put sugar, egg whites, salt, hot water and vanilla essence into a mixing bowl. Mix on high speed until stiff peaks form. (This could take up to 20 minutes depending on the speed of your mixer, so settle in.)

Step 4

Once you have stiff peaks, gently fold in the cocoa powder in about three lots. Use a spoon, not the beaters, for this bit or you will lose your 'stiffness' *titter*.

Step 5

Now get your piping bag with the #10 nozzle (about 5mm diameter) and place the bag into a tall jug with the edges folded over the jug. This is just to help you spoon the mixture into the bag without crying. (Disclaimer: you may still cry.)

Step 6

Squish the mixture down into the bag. Now get the baking trays you prepared earlier (you did do that, right?) and start piping emoji poos into each circle.

Step 7

Start in the centre of the circle then outline the circle and keep moving up in smaller and smaller circles, finishing at a point. (Remember, bums don't slam shut which is why ... you know what I mean.)

Step 8

Work quickly until you have piped all your emojis. Now put them in the oven and immediately turn the oven down to 90˚C.

Step 9

Bake them in the oven for one hour. Then turn the oven off and leave them in until the oven cools completely (about an hour). Take them out and cool them at room temperature for about 30 minutes or so.

Step 10

Now use white writing icing to 'glue' on the lolly eyes. (These can be hard to find, I found some at Coles in the baking section. You could just as easily use white and black writing icing to make the eyes.) Pipe a mouth with the white writing icing.

Step 11

Congratulations you have made two trays of poo emojis. Your mother would be so proud!