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Heat the butter in a large skillet or medium-sized pot over medium-high heat. Add the onion, ginger, and garlic and cook until the onion is very well-browned, about 10 minutes.
While the onion is cooking, add the spices to a small bowl. When the onion is well-browned, add the spices and let them cook for 1 minute. Add the tomatoes and water to the pot and scrape the bottom to remove any stuck on bits.
Add the cashew butter then carefully transfer everything to your blender. Blend on high until smooth then pour the curry back into the pot. Season to taste with salt and, if using, the sugar. If you find the curry too thick, add another ½ cup of water.
Add the cream, if using, and the paneer to the pot and warm it on medium-low heat for 3-4 minutes. Cover the pot to prevent splatters. Serve with a little cilantro over the top.